


the universe ain't shit

by luckynoir



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Chatting & Messaging, Childhood Friends, First Meetings, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 13:10:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17142353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckynoir/pseuds/luckynoir
Summary: He loved Kuro, of course he did, but he obviously couldn’t talk to him about anything regarding soulmarks —  not only because Kuro didn’t have one, but because he might pick up on the fact that Kenma was hopelessly in love with him.In which Kenma deals with the fallout from having his best friend’s soulmark and thinking he doesn’t feel the same (featuring hijinks, mutual pining, and a charming stranger who isn’t so strange).





	the universe ain't shit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pink-alien-queen](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=pink-alien-queen).



> so this was my piece for @pink-alien-queen for the haikyuu secret santa event this year!!!! it was super fun to write; trying to incorporate childhood friends, soulmates, and first meetings was such a cool challenge and i had a blast writing this for you!!!
> 
> i hope everyone reading this has a wonderful holiday and a fantastic new year <3

Practice had run late that day; Nekomata insisted they improve their coordinated attacks. After all, the Spring High Representative Playoffs were only a little over a month away, and none of them wanted to leave until they could improve just a bit more.

None of them except Kenma, that is. 

It was a clear Monday evening, the sun dipping low in the October sky and painting golden streaks across the wooden floor. It was an average day, the rest of his team talking and laughing together as they changed back into their uniforms. 

It was also one day until Kenma’s 17th birthday.

He normally didn’t make a fuss about his birthday, but he’d been dreading his 17th since he was old enough to understand the matching lettering adorning his parents’ shoulders.

There wasn’t an exact science to soulmarks — some unknown force (fate, destiny, or whatever) determined which people belonged together, and left its mark on each of them: usually, the name of their intended. Soulmarks could appear anywhere, but they were constant in two regards — they always appeared on a person’s 17th birthday, and they were never wrong.

A few people held multiple soulmarks in varying colors: the standard black served as a reflection of multiple partners, or any other color as an indicator of strong platonic relationships. Yaku had a few, proudly displaying the colors littered across his arms except for one. He kept it covered with a bandage, scowling whenever his teammates teased him about it, but blushing nonetheless.

Even more rarely, a mark could be one-sided. No one knew quite why marks could show up for one person and not another, but as far as he knew, one-sided marks didn’t culminate in romantic relationships. In fact, media more commonly depicted it as a great, irresolvable tragedy for the one marked: fated to never find a requited soulmate. 

Of course, even relationships decreed by fate didn’t always last. If a bond was irreparably damaged or destroyed altogether, a soulmark would lose its color and change to white, eventually fading to the appearance of a scar. 

He’d first seen a faded mark when he’d met Kuro and his father. 

Kenma was never a social child, but at least he refrained from actively glaring at others. The rooster-headed boy before him wore a bitter expression, eyes locked firmly on the carpeted floor beneath their feet.

Kuro and his father had knocked on the door a few minutes prior, talking with his mother before she dragged him away from his game to meet the new neighbors.

“Be nice,” she said, a piece of hair falling across her face as she looked down at him. “Kuroo-kun probably doesn’t have a lot of friends here yet.”

He’d followed her down the stairs, and let her continue her conversation, staying behind her and hoping he could go back upstairs soon. He was almost to the end of the Fire Temple, after all.

“You’re Kozume-kun, right?” Kuro’s father smiled kindly at Kenma.“This is my son, Tetsurou. I know he’s a little older, but I’m sure you two will be great friends!”

He moved to rest his hand on Kuro’s shoulder, and that’s when he saw it. His sleeve moved up a fraction of an inch, and Kenma could just make out the elegant, faded calligraphy — 

He found himself not willing to look. His mind raced, connecting the man’s tired eyes to Kuro’s sullen expression, along with the fact that they’d moved into Kuro’s grandparents’ house with only a few haphazard boxes in hand…

“My name is Kuroo,” he said, meeting Kenma’s gaze nervously. “I just moved next door. Um, this is my-”

“Kenma,” he said quietly, surprising both Kuro and himself. “You can call me Kenma.” After a pause, he smiled slightly. “It’s nice to meet you.”

~*~*~

He supposed it wouldn’t be so bad to have a soulmate if he weren’t already in love with someone who would never feel the same. He glanced over at Kuro, only halfway changed but jotting down notes about their practice nonetheless, and couldn’t help but to smile a bit. 

Kuro was clever, loyal, passionate… he dedicated himself to making everything better. He worked hard to improve himself, always trying to be a better captain, a better student, a better person. 

Kuro didn’t like to be noticed, but Kenma couldn’t help but to stare in awe. He did so much for his team, for his friends, for _Kenma,_ all while doing the things that made himself happy too. Kuro was dizzying, incredible, impossible to analyze, but at the same time, he was comforting, wonderful — everything Kenma had ever needed.

“Hey, Kenma, your birthday’s coming up, right?” He blinked, shaking off his thoughts. Tora grinned at him as he fumbled with the buttons on his uniform.

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you excited? You’ll finally know the name of your soulmate! Or soulmates,” he amended, with a quick glance at Yaku.

Kenma shrugged, hoping to dismiss the topic before — 

“Kenma-san! You’re getting your soulmark tomorrow?!” Lev bounded over, his voice carrying across the locker room. Kenma winced as the others’ conversations quieted, and a few curious first-years walked over. 

“That’s so cool! I’m so jealous that almost all of our senpai have their marks already,” he said with a grin. “I wonder who I’ll get?! Hopefully somebody who’s into volleyball, since I am gonna be the ace and all!”

He continued babbling, some of their teammates listening bemusedly. Kenma glanced over at the upperclassmen and winced.

Kuro had gone unnaturally stiff, like he always did whenever someone brought up soulmates. Kenma walked over, leaving the first years behind. 

“Want to head out soon?” 

Kuro nodded, plastering on a smile as he rubbed at the back of his neck. Kenma silently cursed the first years; they meant well, but they’d crossed a line.

Some people didn’t have soulmarks at all. No one knew why, and it didn’t stop people from finding love in some way or another. It merely meant they didn’t have any predestined soulmates, didn’t have some ‘perfect’ match waiting for them. 

As far as everyone knew, Kuro didn’t have a soulmark. He never dated, and clammed up when people asked him about it. Instead of giving a direct answer about his soulmark or lack thereof, he’d quickly redirect the conversation and laugh it off. 

It was better to let him be comfortable than to pry into his thoughts, so Kenma never brought it up. Some small part of him wondered if Kuro might love him even without a mark, but the rational part of his mind told him it was hopeless.

He sighed. It’s not like his lack of a mark made him love Kuro any less.

~*~*~

They said their goodbyes before heading for the train station, walking together in comfortable silence. Kenma reached for his phone, opening his messaging app when Kuro sighed.

“I’m sorry those first-years were harassing you. I’ll have a talk with them tomorrow, if you want.”

_No unread messages._ “It’s okay.” He paused. “I just wish they wouldn’t make such a big deal about all this soulmate stuff.”

Kuro nodded slightly, adjusting the strap on his bag. “If they make you uncomfortable, just tell me, okay?”

_I was more worried about you than uncomfortable,_ he thought, but pushed it away. “I will.”

They swiped their train passes, searching for a relatively empty car on the crowded train. Kenma pulled out his phone as they walked, sending a quick message before looking back up.

**applepi:** sorry i was gone all day

Kuro tugged at his sleeve gently, and they stepped out of the main aisle toward a row of empty seats. He sat down, setting his bag down next to him before turning to look through it. 

Kenma sat beside him: their usual routine if not for the fact that he was a bit closer than usual. Kuro glanced back at him for a moment, smiling slightly before turning back to his bag.

His phone buzzed quietly in his hand.

**blackcat94:** no worries!! I’ve been busy too

He smiled a bit at the screen, and Kuro cocked his head. 

“New game? Or is it Chibi-chan again?”

Kenma made a noncommittal noise, slipping his phone into his bag and reaching for his PSP. 

“Kenma,” he whined, dragging out the last sound of his name. “You can’t keep secrets from me; I’m your best friend.”

He rolled his eyes, waiting for the loading icon to finish spinning. “It’s just a friend.”

“Oh?” Kuro raised a brow, a teasing grin on his face. _Just_ a friend?”

“Kuro, please,” he shot back, frustration getting the best of him. “Haven’t we talked enough about my soulmate today?”

The grin vanished from Kuro’s face, and his brow furrowed. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t realize.” He looked hurt, more so than normal after accidentally crossing a line.

Kenma cocked his head, annoyance replaced by concern. “It’s okay. Sorry I snapped at you.”

A small smile crept up Kuro’s lips. “You worried it’s gonna be Lev?”

He slapped him lightly, rolling his eyes. “Don’t even joke.”

The train pulled into their station without either of them noticing; Kenma slid into Kuro as it slowed to a stop. He grinned, and Kenma smiled up at him for a moment before they left their seats. 

They said their farewells halfway between each others houses, and Kenma looked up at the stars when he felt his phone buzz. 

**blackcat94:** so how’s your day been?

He typed his reply, smile still lingering on his face. He and Black Cat met a few months ago in the forums for some game, both of them struggling with the same boss. They’d chatted back and forth discussing strategy for a few days, then somehow, they started talking about… more. 

Black Cat was easy to talk to, and he trusted him. He’d told him about his feelings for Kuro and his dire soulmark situation, and in return, Black Cat had told him his: how he was too afraid to tell his soulmate that he had his name and had loved him for years, all because he knew he wouldn’t feel the same. 

Their situations were similarly hopeless, but it was nice to have someone he could actually talk to. He loved Kuro, of course he did, but he obviously couldn’t talk to him about anything regarding soulmarks — not only because Kuro didn’t have one, but because he might pick up on the fact that Kenma was hopelessly in love with him.

~*~*~

His alarm went off ungodly early for morning practice, and he blindly fumbled with his phone to shut it off before his eyes adjusted. He blinked, staring at the rows of notifications from his friends before his tired haze dissolved. 

Today was his seventeenth birthday.

His soulmark had already formed on his skin — that is, if he had one at all. 

_It’d probably be easier if I didn’t have one,_ he thought, brushing his teeth in the grey light of morning. He blinked, catching sight of his tired eyes in the mirror before glancing away. Besides, if he didn’t have a name, he wouldn’t have to feel so guilty for being in love with someone else.

And if the person he loved didn’t have a mark, why would he?

He felt more anxious with each second, despite his mental resignation. “I don’t have a mark,” he said softly, reaching for his uniform. “If I do, it won’t be him, but it’ll be okay. Somehow.” He pulled his pajama shirt over his head, flinging it somewhere off to the side before sliding an arm into his white button-up. “I don’t…”

He did.

~*~*~

_**黒尾 鉄朗** _

Kuroo Tetsurou, written elegantly across his heart.

Kenma touched the mark gingerly, scarcely blinking — either out of fear it would fade or that it would remain, he couldn’t be sure. His thoughts raced, indecipherable in the early hour. 

He perched on his bed, reaching for his phone and opening his messages with Black Cat as if by instinct.

**applepi:** it’s him

**applepi:** i have his name what do i do

He fidgeted with his phone, waiting for a reply before giving up and getting dressed. As he buttoned his shirt, he felt a sense of relief bubble up; at least now he could try to put it out of his mind.

Kenma’s phone buzzed twice, and that bubble popped.

Black Cat was spamming him on LINE, and Kuro had sent two texts a few moments before.

**kuro:** happy birthday kenma!!!! ヽ(=^･ω･^=)丿

**kuro:** i’m outside whenever you’re ready to head out

Amazing how two texts from Kuro were all it took to calm him down. 

He smiled a bit, texting back as he headed for the stairs.

**kenma:** stop using so many cat emojis

**kenma:** i’ll be out in a sec

He headed down the stairs, mind too busy to even consider answering. 

Kuro waited for him outside, looking up from his phone when he heard the slam of the door. He grinned, and jogged over to meet Kenma where he stood.

“Kenma, happy birthday!” The early morning sun made his eyes shine a million shades of black and brown and gold. 

“Thanks.” He couldn’t help but to smile a bit. The rosy sky blanketed the neighborhood, painting hues of soft pink over them both. He figured it might help the inevitable reddening of his cheeks as they walked.

“So, I know we usually don’t get each other gifts, but…” He reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a small box wrapped in gold. “It’s just something small, but I saw it and thought of you so…”

Kenma took the box, and deftly slid a finger under the tape. The box slid out, and he gingerly removed the lid. 

It was an acrylic charm of two cats curled around each other: one calico and one black. He immediately thought of them, but pushed the thought aside. “Thank you, Kuro.”

Kenma reached for his PSP, looping the charm’s strap through the keychain holder. He tugged at it once to make sure it was secure, and looked back up, smiling. “Now I’ll see them every day.”

Kuro grinned, and stepped toward him. “Can I hug you?”

Kenma nodded, and wrapped his arms around his waist. “I’m glad you like it,” came Kuro’s voice, muffled by the fabric of Kenma’s hoodie. Kenma hummed noncommittally, more focused on the feeling of Kuro’s arms around him.

They broke apart after a moment, Kuro looking somewhat apologetic. “We should probably hurry if we’re going to catch the train. I know morning practice is your favorite, after all.” 

Kenma stuck out his tongue, and Kuro laughed, leading them to the station from two steps ahead.

~*~*~

**blackcat94:** holy shit pi 

**blackcat94:** first of all happy birthday!!

**blackcat94:** second of all you should tell him

**blackcat94:** but only once you’re comfortable with it

**blackcat94:** so take your time, but go for it?? idk from what i know he’s almost definitely already in love with you 

**blackcat94:** does it really matter that he doesn’t have your mark?

~*~*~

He was thankful Kuro didn’t bring up anything about his soulmark, but his heart twinged all the same. Kuro was respecting his boundaries after overstepping yesterday, but couldn’t he overstep just a tiny bit? He had to care somewhat about Kenma’s soulmark, after all. 

He shook his head, chastising himself. Why couldn’t he just be happy that Kuro was being a good friend instead of willing him to talk about something that would inevitably make them uncomfortable? 

His anxiety returned for a moment as he changed, but his undershirt was thick enough to cover the name completely. Practice went far better than he had hoped; his teammates barely asked about his mark, and a shrug was enough to quiet them until his next set. Nekomata blew the whistle, giving them critique that Kemna barely registered. 

After they’d finished changing, Kuro moved to stand by the empty locker beside him, waiting to walk him to class as usual. Kenma, meanwhile, was halfway through a reply to Black Cat. He promptly dropped his phone into his bag, praying Kuro hadn’t caught a glimpse of the half-formed paragraph he’d been seconds away from sending. 

“You okay?” Kuro’s relaxed expression shifted to concern in an instant. “You seem… jumpier than usual. It’s just me, you know.”

“I know,” Kenma said, smiling at the irony. _Just_ you.

They headed for Kenma’s classroom, saying their goodbyes at the door. Kuro lingered for a few moments, lips parting and gaze dropping to the ground, almost like there was something he wanted to say. 

Kenma cocked his head. Kuro hadn’t been nervous like this since they were kids, so why now? 

He took a breath. “Kenma, I-” The warning bell echoed down the hall, and he flinched. “We’ll talk later, okay?” he said, half smiling before sprinting away. A moment passed, and he was about to head through the door when he heard Kuro wishing him a happy birthday loud enough for this half of Nekoma to hear. 

He smiled, and headed to his seat.

~*~*~

**applepi:** i want to tell him

**applepi:** i want to tell him more than anything but i just can’t… he’s all perfect and gorgeous and passionate and caring and he’s my best friend in the world and i can’t lose him just because the universe is telling me that i’m meant to be with him but he’s not meant to be with me

**applepi:** we look out for each other, we always have. that should be enough for me, right?

_But why isn’t it?_ His dimmed screen turned black.

His phone buzzed hours later, long past his awkward dodging of his friends at lunch or his ineloquent excuses to get out of afternoon practice. 

**blackcat94:** i know how you feel

**blackcat94:** my soulmate means everything to me and i wish he knew that. god i wish i could remind him every day but i won’t push him away by making him uncomfortable

**blackcat94:** he doesn’t feel the same, and i’ve had a lot of time to accept it

**blackcat94:** but pi, you have a chance!! even if he doesn’t have a mark, it doesn’t mean he’ll love you any less

**blackcat94:** it’s terrifying, i know

**blackcat94:** but even if it takes a while, you should tell him

**blackcat94:** he’s always looked out for you, right? so i’m sure he’d stay by your side no matter what

**blackcat94:** and i know i sound like a big hypocrite but he’s your best friend and the only reason you’re not with him right now is because you think he doesn’t feel the same. my soulmate gets really nervous about all of this stuff, we can barely talk about it even though we’ve known each other forever and that’s the only reason i haven’t told him

**blackcat94:** not trying to be an ass here

**blackcat94:** i just don’t want you to miss out on something great just because it seems like the whole universe might be against you

The spam of messages ended for a few minutes, and Kenma warily eyed his phone once he paused the level he was on. As he scrolled through the replies, one more message came through.

**blackcat94:** you deserve to be happy, and sometimes you just gotta make that happiness yourself, you know? the universe ain’t shit

~*~*~

Wednesday passed quickly, slightly less awkward than the day before. He went to practice (thanking whatever force stopped his teammates from noticing the lettering of his soulmark through his thin undershirt), went to class (all while dodging comments from his friends and desperately trying to avoid blushing too much at lunch), and went home (chatting idly with Kuro, ignoring the pang in his chest and scooting just a bit closer).

Still, the whole situation with his soulmark left him feeling… isolated. The only one he could really talk to was Black Cat since he was so far from the situation, and he didn’t even know Kuro’s name! 

Someone far… 

Something clicked in Kenma’s mind, and he reached for his phone

**kenma:** hey shouyou, can i talk to you abt something

**shouyou:** of course!!!!! always!!!!!

He typed out a few paragraphs explaining everything. Shouyou already knew about his feelings for Kuro (he’d screeched excitedly for about fifteen minutes when he found out), so he only explained a bit more about his soulmark (and Kuro’s lack thereof).

**shouyou:** so u and rooster-head are meant to be together?!?!?! kenma!!!!!! u have his mark!!!! just ask if he has one too!!!

**kenma:** it’s not that simple tho

**shouyou:** kenmaaa uve known him forever!! he won’t b mad or anything!!! he already loves u!!

**kenma:** i’ll tell him eventually; i think i just need more time 

**shouyou:** ofc ofc take ur time :D this is so cool i can’t believe hes ur soulmate!!

**kenma:** neither can i, really

**kenma:** i’m not sure if it’s luck or some kind of joke

**shouyou:** luck, definitely

**shouyou:** yallre meant to be together!!

**shouyou:** tell him when ur ready and im sure itll go perfect!!!!!

Kenma smiled at his phone; Shouyou was always there for him when he needed an outside perspective or just some reassurance. 

**kenma:** thanks <3 i’ll do my best

**shouyou:** <3

~*~*~

Two days had passed since his birthday, and he was beginning to think everyone had forgotten about his soulmark. 

Practice was nearly over, so he swallowed a sigh when Lev ran over with a ball in hand. “Kenma-san! Can you set for me? I really want to work on angled spikes like Owl-Hair-san from Fukurodani! Yaku said he would toss for you!”

“Lev, that’s a little—” He stopped himself, seeing the sheer excitement in his eyes. Kenma could use a distraction anyway. 

They stayed past the end of practice, quiet except for the sounds of setting and the occasional squeak of their shoes against the polished wood. Kenma’s mind was blissfully empty, thinking only of the next toss and Lev’s position in front of him.

“Hey, Kenma-san,” Lev said, moments after a spike just nearly out-of-bounds. “Who _did_ you get as a soulmate? You never said!” 

“Does it matter?” he said, suddenly aware of his surroundings beyond just their court.

“Lev, it’s none of your business,” Yaku said sharply. 

“I know, but Kenma-san and I are good friends, right?” He grinned, and Kenma rolled his eyes. “And I can totally help him out! I’m an expert in romance, just like in volleyball! Do they go to our school? I bet I know them. Do I know them?” His eyes were wide as he waited for an answer. 

Kenma set another ball, very aware of Kuro laughing with Tora outside of the locker room. The set went long, and he winced as Lev blinked back at him.

“Can we just practice, please?” he asked, trying to keep his voice level. 

Lev’s concern melted into determination as he jumped after the next set, but Yaku kept staring at him. 

“That’s the first time I’ve heard you actually ask to practice,” he said, voice low. “Are you okay, Kenma?”

“I’m fine,” he answered, eyes drifting back toward Kuro.

~*~*~

**shouyou:** so have u talked to anybody else abt this??? 

**shouyou:** like ur teammates or anyone??

**kenma:** well there’s this guy i met on the forums? we’re in kind of similar situations and he’s really nice about it

**shouyou:** oh thats cool!!!! its good that u have someone to talk to who can kind of relate

**shouyou:** i wish i could help more but im a dumbass abt soulmate stuff unfortunately ://///

**kenma:** shouyou, you help plenty :) it’s really helpful to talk to an irl friend about this stuff

**shouyou:** if u say so!! <3 what does he think u should do???

**kenma:** he thinks i should tell him too, since i actually have a chance and i shouldn’t waste it

**shouyou:** so what im getting is that its 2v1(－ｏ⌒) looks like u gotta tell him kenmaaaa

Kenma rolled his eyes, and typed a reply.

~*~*~

Kuro had some meeting with an academic advisor, so Kenma resigned himself to eating lunch alone. His teammates might miss him, but fielding their questions was too much to do alone. His PSP booted successfully, chiming just as someone cleared their throat in front of his desk.

He flinched. Yaku stood in front of him, fidgeting with the wrap under his shirt. He looked… almost nervous.

“Kenma, do you have time to talk?” 

Unusual.

Kenma nodded, slipping his PSP into his bag as he moved to stand.

“What about?” he asked, following Yaku to the door. He walked quickly, fidgeting with the loops on his pants before opening the door and stepping into the hall.

At this point, he was more concerned for Yaku then he was nervous about their conversation. A small relief.

“I, well… I wanted to talk to you about soulmarks.” Yaku steeled himself, and met his gaze. “Lev was being a lot yesterday, and I know how overwhelming they can be, especially when you realize you’re fated to be with an absolute… ugh, nevermind. My point is, I can help you get through whatever it is that’s been making you uncomfortable lately.”

 

Kenma blinked, surprised. “That’s… thank you, I guess.” Yaku wasn’t the first person he would think to talk to, but he was perceptive, trustworthy, and rational (most of the time). Besides, it could hardly make his dilemma any worse; maybe talking to someone who knew them both could actually help?

Yaku shrugged. “It’s just what friends do.” 

It was a long shot, but it couldn’t hurt. Not much, anyway.

He glanced over his shoulder as they walked, making sure no one happened to be in the hall. They turned a corner, and he let out a breath. “It’s Kuro.” 

Yaku’s eyes widened for a moment before his expression settled into something more understanding. “And… correct me if I’m wrong; you did _want_ it to be him, right?” He continued before Kenma could even say anything. “It’s not that subtle. He’s an idiot though, so he’s probably the only one who doesn’t know.”

Kenma closed his mouth, and stared at the ground. So the whole team knew? Fantastic. 

“So, what do you think I should do?” The question hovered for a moment as Yaku thought.

“I think you should tell him. You’re his whole world, Kenma. He’d want to know.”

They slowed down, and Yaku gave him a comforting smile. “I know it’s scary, being bonded to someone like this but not really knowing how they feel about you.” His hand moved instinctively over the wrap on his arm. “Whatever happens, though? It’s all going to be fine. You two are too close for some stupid name to break you apart.” He paused, brown eyes locking on Kenma’s. “And who knows? Maybe he has your name too. It’s not like anyone’s ever asked him, right?”

~*~*~

The final bell rang on Friday, and Kenma followed the flow of students toward the front of the school, eyes locked on his phone. He was heading toward his and Kuro’s meeting spot when someone tapped his arm. 

Kuro grinned at him, catching his breath as his steps slowed to a stop. “Hey. I tried to get here early so we could have some more time to talk. We haven’t really seen each other a lot this week, you know?”

Kenma rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the way his eyes crinkled with his smile. “We see each other at practice every day, Kuro.”

“That’s not what I mean,” he whined, following behind Kenma as he started to walk toward the station. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Kenma raised a brow, carefully keeping his thoughts in check. “I’m fine.” He took out his PSP, fiddling with the charm subconsciously as he booted his game.

Kuro frowned a bit, but kept to himself until their train had left the station.

“I’m just worried about you,” he said quietly. “Usually when something’s going on, you talk to me about it.”

Kenma glanced up at him before turning back to his battle. “Kuro, like I said: everything’s fine.”

He still looked unconvinced. “Kenma, I know you better than pretty much anyone. I know when something’s not right. Is it your parents? Or the team? School?” 

Kenma kept quiet.

Kuro waited a few minutes, carefully choosing his words. “If this is about your soulmark, you can talk to me about it. I know I’ve gotten a little weird before, but I don’t care as long as I can help you.”

He stared at his screen, scarcely touching the buttons. His character took a few hits, easily avoidable, and Kenma listened to the tinny sounds of the game over screen before looking up. 

“Kuro, I trust you with everything. And I’m thankful that you want to help me, really. I just… this is something I need to deal with on my own. I’ll tell you when I’m ready, okay?”

Kuro’s eyes were wide, lips parting for a moment before he smiled a bit. “Of course.” The train rang out as they pulled into their station, and they wove through the people still standing to reach the nearest doors.

They walked in silence until they reached the path leading to Kenma’s door. He smiled a bit, waving and turning away when Kuro grabbed his hand. 

“Kenma, I… I just want you to know that you don’t need to be worried about upsetting me if there’s something you need to talk about. I’m here for you, always. Nothing you could say would make me more upset than knowing you felt like you couldn’t talk to me.”

He released Kenma’s hand after a moment, laughing awkwardly and running his hand through his hair. “Well, anyway, I, um. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Kenma nodded with a slight smile, curling his fingers to shake the lingering sensation from Kuro’s touch. “Tomorrow.”

He had just set his bag down on the table when his phone pinged. 

**blackcat94:** pi if this is weird then u can totally ignore this but

**blackcat94:** do you think it might be okay if we met in person?? 

**blackcat94:** it’d kinda be nice to talk face to face, yknow? 

**blackcat94:** plus we can hang out downtown and drown our sorrows in some bomb ass pastries 

**blackcat94:** i’ll treat since it was just ur birthday!! 

Kenma stared at the screen of his phone, a bit confused. He’d never even considered meeting Black Cat, even after their months of chatting. 

There was a real person behind that moniker, someone who cared about him and who trusted him with their own insecurities. Someone who was snarky and annoying but supportive and kind — someone who’d given Kenma the confidence he needed to work through his soulmark situation.

**applepi:** it’s not that weird

**applepi:** let me think on it?

He closed the app, intent on thinking when a text from Shouyou popped up on his screen. 

**shouyou:** kenmaa!!! hows everything going???

**kenma:** i think i’m meeting up with that guy from the forums

**kenma:** about 99% sure he’s not a catfish but that’s beside the point

**kenma:** what do i wear and how do i do this

His phone sat silent for a while, and he was about to reach for a textbook when a series of texts came in. 

**shouyou:** GWAH KENMA HWAT

**shouyou:** PLEASE DON’T GET MURDERED IDK HOW TO HELP WITH ANYTHING LIKE THIS AAA (°͈▵°͈)

**shouyou:** LET ME ASK SOMEBODY WERE OUT GETTING MEAT BUNS ATM

His phone went quiet again, and he sighed, skimming the pages for his assigned reading. 

**shouyou:** okay okay so

**shouyou:** suga-san says that as long as ur in public its fine but to b smart which i know u r so its no problem!!!! 

**shouyou:** u know him p well right??? so it shouldnt b too hard for u to talk to him after u get used to actually seeing him!!!!! just b urself!! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

**kenma:** i don’t have that kind of blind confidence, shouyou

**shouyou:** thats fair!!! i know itll be okay tho!! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و 

**shouyou:** as for clothes tho,,, hmm

**shouyou:** send me a pic of ur closet!! karasunos got ur back!!!

Kenma dutifully padded over to his closet, taking a quick picture and wincing at the sheer amount of worn t-shirts Shouyou would definitely forbid.

**shouyou:** okay so our captain says that a good outfit can help u b more confident so!! wear something nice!! 

**shouyou:** like something plain?? or dressier??

**shouyou:** and no sweatpants,, kenma i love u but u gotta break that habit

His only formal outfit consisted of the various dress shirts and vests that comprised his school uniform. He pushed those hangers aside, scanning every piece of clothing before settling on one of his few plain shirts: a simple white v-neck his mom had bought him. It was a thicker material than most of his clothes, but still too cold for the autumn chill. 

After a moment of thought, he pulled a worn red flannel off its hanger. It hung a bit long on him (it was one of the many shirts Kuro had left at his house after spending the night) but he didn’t have any other layers that seemed nice enough. After laying out some black jeans, he sent a picture back.

**kenma:** this good??

**shouyou:** KENMA U DIDNT EVEN NEED MY HELP (/^▽^)/

**shouyou:** kageyamas the only one who didnt love it nd thats bc he doesnt know how to dress himself

Kenma smiled at the text, thanking Shouyou (and his team) before opening LINE. 

**applepi:** does 4 work?

~*~*~

The streets were quiet the next day, most people staying inside to avoid the downpour. Kenma’s umbrella wasn’t nearly strong enough, folding in occasionally from the wind, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. His mind raced as he glanced at his map, wincing as he noticed the time. 

He’d been so nervous he missed his train and had to wait a half hour for the next one. They had agreed to meet at a shrine downtown, and Kenma’s unfamiliarity with the area wasn’t really helping his anxiety. Between trying not to get lost, sending the occasional message to Black Cat, and focusing on not bumping into the occasional passerby, he’d practically abandoned all hope of staying dry. 

Drops of rain slid down his hair, landing on his already damp shirt. Even with the additional layer, he shivered. Water splashed against his heels, but he kept on nonetheless. According to his map, the shrine should be just around the corner… 

Kenma slowed his pace, squinting at the sign to see if it matched the design on his phone. He opened LINE and sent a quick message to Black Cat as he walked toward the awning, only to bump into someone on the way. 

“Sorry about-”

“Oops, sorry-”

He looked up, and his heart skipped. 

Kuro stood in front of him, phone in his hand. His hair was slightly damp from the rain, and his eyes widened as he noticed Kenma in front of him. He laughed a little awkwardly, and smiled. 

“What are the odds that we’d both be here at the same time?” Kenma could hardly notice the strain in his voice; everything was overwhelming for a moment, and then it wasn’t. 

“Kuro, I-”

Kuro froze. His eyes were wide, fixed on Kenma. Kenma opened his mouth to speak, but the words died away as Kuro took a step closer, and reached a hand out to him. He stopped for a moment, giving Kenma time to move away, but he stayed right where he was. 

Kuro touched his chest lightly, and he felt a wave of emotions crash into him. He lowered his eyes in realization, stepping back a moment before Kuro moved closer again. 

Stupid shirt, stupid Shouyou, stupid rain, stupid soulmark — 

Somehow he’d forgotten that white shirts in the rain are fairly easy to see through: something that’s normally not an issue for him. 

Except now his best friend could see the soulmark binding them together as clear as day.

Kenma stepped back; his first instinct was to run as fast and as far as he could, anything to be away from here. Kuro couldn’t know, not like this, not now. 

Everything they had couldn’t change just because of some cosmic mistake. 

Rainwater soaked them both as they stood there, frozen. The sounds, the world around them — he couldn’t focus on anything other than Kuro: the shine in his eyes, the way the rain washed his tears away.

“I never thought you’d have me, too.” 

~*~*~

“For a while, I thought I didn’t have one. Because of my parents, you know? But then…” he smiled a bit, and continued. “Bokuto was practicing his spikes, and I wasn’t paying attention. The ball hit me in the back of the head, Bo went to check for a bruise and… he found it.”

He turned his head to the left, parting a small section of the still wet hair at the nape of his neck. Kenma stepped closer, hand reaching out as if of its own accord. 

He touched his hairline gently, fingers brushing against Kuro’s. Kuro shivered, and Kenma was suddenly too aware of the pounding of his heart. He took a breath, closing his eyes before finally seeing Kuro’s soulmark.

_**孤爪 研磨** _

The familiar characters were scrawled as if by a shaking hand, but they were clear nonetheless. 

Kozume Kenma.

Kuro’s expression was indecipherable, his eyes shining as he started to speak.

“I-”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” The words formed before Kenma could stop them. “If you knew all this time… did you not want me?” He cursed the waver in his voice, cursed the tears forming in his eyes.

Kuro’s eyes went wide, and he reached for Kenma’s hand like a lifeline. “Kenma, no, I-! God, I’m such an idiot,” he muttered, blinking hard and swiping at the tears with his free hand. 

He took a steadying breath, and continued. “Don’t ever think that, please. Kenma, I — I’ve always wanted to be with you. Even when I was too young to really understand it, you were always my first priority — you always will be. 

“I didn’t tell you because I… well, I was scared. You’re my best friend. You didn’t want to talk about your soulmark, so I figured you didn’t have me or didn’t want me. I didn’t want you to feel pressured into being with me if that’s not what you really wanted, and I couldn’t risk losing you. It was easier to pretend I didn’t have a mark than pretend it wasn’t you.” He looked up, dark eyes locking on Kenma’s. “I’ve loved you since the first day we met, and I knew I always would, even if you didn’t feel the same.”

Kenma let his gaze drop, but still held tightly to Kuro’s hand. “Well then,” he said simply, still sorting through his thoughts, “it’s a good thing I do.”

Kuro’s lips parted, and Kenma surged forward, practically right up against him. “Kuro, you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met. Not just because you’re patient and make me feel safe but… you’re so dedicated. To yourself, to the team. You make everything better. You make me want to be better.” 

Kenma stepped back a bit, rationality starting to return. “So um. That’s how I feel.” He felt himself rambling a bit as Kuro gently cupped his face with the hand not still holding Kenma’s. 

Everything was quiet other than the sound of the rain falling down around them. Kuro’s eyes were locked on his, warm and bright and shining. Kenma reached up, brushing a lock of hair out of his face, and Kuro smiled softly.

“Can I kiss you?” The question had scarcely left his lips when Kenma nodded fervently, tangling his hand in Kuro’s hair as he pulled him closer. 

Kuro kissed him, and suddenly, he couldn’t hear the rain. Nothing else existed, only Kuro’s lips against his and his hand in his hair and his arm wrapping around Kenma’s back. He was like fire, and Kenma was just now realizing how cold he’d been.

They broke apart for breath, and Kenma couldn’t help his smile. Kuro grinned, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead. 

“So,” he said, tracing a hand along Kenma’s cheek. “Soulmates?”

Kenma reached for his hand and held it tight. “Soulmates.”

~*~*~

They walked back to the station together, trying to fit under Kenma’s umbrella to no avail. Although, with Kuro’s hand warm in his, Kenma didn’t mind the cold.

They sat on the train in comfortable quiet, locking eyes and smiling stupidly at each other until they both would up laughing. Kuro unlocked his door with a hand shaking from the cold, and stripped off his wet jacket. 

Kenma followed him upstairs, and he rummaged in his closet for a moment before returning with an armful of clothes. 

“Here, you must be freezing,” he said, already half out of his shirt.

Kenma froze for a second, cursing himself for not looking away when Kuro grinned at him.

“You can enjoy the view later, Kenma. Get changed before you get sick!” Kenma rolled his eyes, heading for the bathroom when Kuro continued, “I’d kiss you regardless, but I don’t think the team could handle their setter _and_ captain being home sick.”

“Okay, okay,” Kenma laughed, piling his wet clothes neatly on the counter. Most of the clothes were his, left over after countless sleepovers, but the hoodie hung almost to his knees. He smiled, and followed Kuro to the washing machine. 

“I figured you’d want my hoodie, considering you’re so fond of my clothes,” he said, gesturing at the wet flannel in his arms.

“Shut up,” Kenma grumbled, holding it a bit tighter. “You’re not getting it back, by the way.”

“I figured,” Kuro said, and leaned in to kiss his cheek.

They headed back to his room, watching whatever mindless movies happened to be on. The day went on like normal; they were still best friends, only now Kenma could wrap his arms around Kuro and murmur sweet nothings between pressing kisses to his skin.

“I can’t believe I didn’t realize you were Pi,” Kuro said through a yawn as he leaned into Kenma’s side. “Do you still love me even though I’m the biggest idiot in the known universe?”

“We’re both idiots, Kuro,” he murmured, trying to sound monotone despite his obvious smile. Kuro looked up at him, grinning.

Kenma leaned in a bit, resting their foreheads against one another’s. He was impossibly close, close enough that Kenma could see the rosy sunlight reflected in his eyes, the spray of faded freckles that dusted his cheeks, the curve of his lips as his expression changed from teasing to something _more,_ something sincere… 

With the next beat of his heart, he pressed his lips against Kuro’s. It was hesitant at first, still something new, something fragile. He was about to pull away when Kuro linked his arms around his neck and kissed back. The hesitancy vanished in an instant; Kenma sighed against his mouth and twisted his hands in the fabric of his shirt as Kuro’s lips moved against his. The kiss was needier than earlier, but with a sense of comfort; they didn’t need to rush. They belonged together, after all; they could take all the time they needed. 

Kenma pulled back, gazing fondly at his soulmate. 

“I didn’t really answer you earlier,” he said quietly, marvelling in their gentle intimacy for just a moment; Kuro's soft smile, the way he made Kenma feel safe and warm and loved, the unspoken promise of happiness and a future, together. Kuro cocked his head and hummed inquisitively, and Kenma grinned.

“Of course I love you.” And he leaned in to kiss him again.


End file.
